Why I Didnt Reply

Photo

Fri, 27 Jul 2012 19:01:33 -0700

Warp speed ahead!

Sat, 21 Jul 2012 08:00:21 -0700

Warp speed ahead!

The weird part is ...

Fri, 20 Jul 2012 15:54:59 -0700

This is going to sound weird but you look really familiar. Actually that’s not the weird part, sacramento is ridiculously small and incestuous. the weird part is I think i met you while i was on acid (ya know, in the name of science) and if you are the same person, you really calmed me down so thanks!

Cactusgun via Reddit.com

Photo

Fri, 20 Jul 2012 07:52:07 -0700

Sitting on the beach

Thu, 19 Jul 2012 15:59:54 -0700

“if you were sitting on the beach and you realised after a while you had been accidently sitting on me cos i had been buried in the sand with just my face above the surface would u get up or stay sitting?”

almestra via reddit.com

Only sexy thing about you

Thu, 19 Jul 2012 07:50:38 -0700

“The only sexy thing about you is your vagina, shame you don’t have a photo of that up”

Sleeping_Fox via reddit.com

Grow your hair out

Wed, 18 Jul 2012 16:00:37 -0700

“you should grow your hair out so i can pull on it while i fuck you also what are some good tips for going vegetarian?”

marginwalkers via reddit.com

Lesbian trapped in a man's body

Wed, 18 Jul 2012 07:51:54 -0700

“hi , would you consider a lesbian trapped in a man’s body? i’m 6’ 4”, blonde, lots of love to give and hard cock to put love inside your body with, i am euro style guy so you’ll feel loved whether you are chatting with me on the beach or on your knees felating me and asking me if your tongue makes my man head feel good! Hot yang love is better than being exploited by yin lumps who have no physical or spiritual ability to give you love! bye for now and have a great day!”

BlooBlooBlaBlaBla via reddit.com

Blowjob maybe?

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 15:57:38 -0700

I just mailed you
and this is crazy
but here’s my ding-dong
so blowjob maybe?

ShortbusOK via Reddit.com

Family Affairs

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 14:04:47 -0700

You’re cousins with Ray too?

-Stew

Photo

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 09:55:00 -0700

White supremicist

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 07:49:45 -0700

Wow, I know I’m kinkier than most redditors… so if he was good looking, I’d have to try it!

Ok, so my worst first e-mail, back a few months ago when I was active on OKCupid. So, I’m a black, Christian woman and my profile says that I would prefer to date a Christian guy (race/ethnicity doesn’t matter). Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not the Santorum like Christian… I LOVE Obama, think the government needs to stay out of a woman’s vagina, and I’m bisexual myself. I get a message that seemed kinda off, but it piqued my interest. So I explore the guys profile… turns out he is a white supremicist from a southern state who hates big government. He is also looking for a woman who is 100% virginal to submit to him. I was like “Is this a joke? A trap? Or did this guy fall down and smack his lil head on the ground before he logged into OKCupid today?” So I send him a polite e-mail back pointing out our differences… he responds back, and I’m paraphrasing, saying that he recognizes that he is of a superior race, but because I look pure in my profile picture he’s willing to make an exception. Now am I willing to enter a relationship where I am headed by a man completely?

I never responded back… but got tons of txts from my friends asking me if I was gonna date the klansman for shits and giggles.

psychgirl88 via reddit.com

DontEatMostMeat via Reddit.com

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 23:37:00 -0700

DontEatMostMeat via Reddit.com

Shut up and do what I tell you

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 15:56:03 -0700

“SHUT UP. Do what I tell you. I’m not interested.

… These are just some of the things you’ll be hearing if you answer this ad. I’m an idiot and I don’t care about anyone but myself.

PS NO DOGS”

GoldenMKZ via reddit.com

Out of my league

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 10:46:51 -0700

I’m a guy, so the experience is probably a little different for us versus women. I’d rate my looks at average/slightly above average, I have a great job, own a home, a car, no debt, etc.. Nothing outlandish in my profile or anything to freak someone out. I think of myself as a pretty solid catch…

Anyway, I was on Match.com and saw a woman and thought “she seems cool - let’s shoot her a message and say ‘hi’…”. I get a reply saying the following:

“You seem like a really nice guy with a lot to offer, but no thanks. I would also like to advise you to know your ballpark and check out women in the same league as yourself. You might have a better time.”

I didn’t know who she was (nor did I want to anymore…) but damn - that one took a bit to shake-off.

shrike71 via reddit.com

I'm just alpha like that

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 10:32:00 -0700

This arrived in my inbox from a “gentleman” of the interweb

im just gonna be really upfront. Please don’t get offended because I mean no disrespect. Im just gonna lay my cards on the table. This is what I want from you….

I want to take you out a date and make all of the guys jealous because i’m with the hottest girl in the building. Then I want to take you out to a restaurant and order your food for you because Im just alpha like that.

Then I want you to give me a blowjob while im driving home. When we get back to the house, I want to take a bubble bath with you while we listen to the soulful sounds of Adele.

Then I want to dry you off, carry you to the bed, lotion your body and screw your brains out for 3-4 hours. I want you to scream so loud that my neighbors call the police because they think we’re having a domestic dispute

part_of_me via reddit.com