Why I Didnt Reply

This arrived in my inbox from a “gentleman” of the interweb

im just gonna be really upfront. Please don’t get offended because I mean no disrespect. Im just gonna lay my cards on the table. This is what I want from you….

I want to take you out a date and make all of the guys jealous because i’m with the hottest girl in the building. Then I want to take you out to a restaurant and order your food for you because Im just alpha like that.

Then I want you to give me a blowjob while im driving home. When we get back to the house, I want to take a bubble bath with you while we listen to the soulful sounds of Adele.

Then I want to dry you off, carry you to the bed, lotion your body and screw your brains out for 3-4 hours. I want you to scream so loud that my neighbors call the police because they think we’re having a domestic dispute

part_of_me via reddit.com